I need to get rid of the following things as soon as possible. I’ll send pictures/dimensions if you’re interested. They will be in Queens until July 15 and you can come pick them up or I might be able to have my minions briefly hold them on Long Island.
Black Computer Chair
Small Wooden Kitchen Table
Wooden DVD rack that can hold about 200 DVDs
Wooden Computer Desk
4 Drawer Storage Unit like this
(Possibly a TV with VHS/DVD built in, small bookcase)
I have been going to the same pizza place for lunch for a year and am very proud that they know what I get (a plain slice and a pepsi) and we never have to exchange any words. As soon as I walk in, they put my slice in and then I pay with exact change and we are done. Of the three guys who work there, one is very friendly and is particularly swift at getting my slice in the oven (sometimes when I’m still at the corner) and always smiles at me.
Last week, no one was around and instead of just putting my pizza in he asked if I wanted my “usual.” This pleased me, but as I went to pay he started asking me questions about where I work and such. As I ate my pizza, he continued to chat while I tried to think of another pizza place I could go to. Being a social misfit, I couldn’t imagine dealing with the daily anxiety of having to talk to someone. Nevertheless, I went for the next few days, during which time the only question he asked was if I had kids, which was odd since two weeks ago two people insisted I couldn’t be older than 15 (I’m 24).
Today, as soon as the place cleared out, he started asking me a series of questions which included what time I get off work, if I hang out with girlfriends on the weekends and if I like going to the movies. For reasons that I’m not quite sure of now, I had decided last week that I would give him a fake name. This seemed like a good idea because people often get confused about my simple name and it annoys me, plus I thought it would be known as someone different somewhere (this would make more sense if I actually made up things about the rest of my life, but I can’t think on my feet and it took a week of preparation to lie about my name). So when he asked today, I told him my name was Emma, which I wound up having to say three times and ultimately spell out. While he knows everything about me, save for my name of course, I only know that he is from Mexico and came here in 1990 when he was 14.
If I don’t find a new pizza place immediately, I fear that I will wind up having to go on a date with him, which I don’t think will please my boyfriend, or that I will get caught by a co-worker and have to explain my silliness when I walk in and he says “Hi Emma!”
The Fugitive (with commentary)
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Hitler was the stupidest person ever. How could he not like the Jewish people? They made bagels! He’s just like the most evil person ever.
— My 9 year old brother, who was genuinely disturbed by this revelation.